Thursday

I've done this before,
this pretending.
Smiling when inside I'm screaming
Skipping when inside I'm falling.

Last time I thought the problem
was you. Uncaring
as you were when I cried
as you were when i bled.

Now perhaps the blame lies
with me. Unable
to be fast enough to thwart
to be strong enough to stop.

I'll do this again,
this pretending.
Going on until I slip,
bearing this until I die.

I am alone.



The things his return still can not fix
float
inside my mind
like clouds.
A background to the scene before me,
but not terribly
significant. Not unless
I let them anger
and the sky grows dark.

I can not let it rain today.