Thursday

I've done this before,
this pretending.
Smiling when inside I'm screaming
Skipping when inside I'm falling.

Last time I thought the problem
was you. Uncaring
as you were when I cried
as you were when i bled.

Now perhaps the blame lies
with me. Unable
to be fast enough to thwart
to be strong enough to stop.

I'll do this again,
this pretending.
Going on until I slip,
bearing this until I die.

I am alone.



The things his return still can not fix
float
inside my mind
like clouds.
A background to the scene before me,
but not terribly
significant. Not unless
I let them anger
and the sky grows dark.

I can not let it rain today.

Nightmares

All I ever think about is Dying,
Whenever I stop thinking anymore,
In one way or another
That's much too far from brave.

The talking tried to keep it quiet,
swallowing it made me still,
but the soul only haunts me
when I can not turn away.